Theresa Halvorsen - Sacramento Correspondent: Slowing Down to Speed Up Your Child's Learning

Here in Sacramento, we're surrounded by incredible spaces—from the American River Parkway to our thriving downtown—yet some of the most powerful moments in early childhood happen right at home, in a quiet corner where nothing fancy is required. Theresa Halvorsen, our Sacramento correspondent and longtime advocate for developmentally appropriate play, reminds us that the best learning doesn't come from expensive programs or structured curricula. Instead, it emerges when we pause, get curious alongside our children, and create space for genuine exploration. This simple yet transformative approach works beautifully for every child in our community, whether they're just discovering cause-and-effect or ready to build elaborate block cities.

What You'll Need

• A comfortable shared space — Your living room floor, kitchen table, or even a blanket in the backyard works perfectly. Pick somewhere you can both relax without worrying about mess or interruptions for at least 20-30 minutes.

• Open-ended materials — Gather items like unlined paper, crayons, washable markers, wooden blocks, plastic containers, cardboard tubes, or even leaves and sticks from your Sacramento neighborhood. The beauty is in simplicity; avoid toys with one "correct" way to play.

• A timer or mental note — Set aside 20-30 minutes with genuine unstructured time. This means no agenda, no checklist, no pressure to "accomplish" anything. Your child needs to know this time is truly theirs.

• Your undivided attention — Put your phone away, silence notifications, and prepare yourself to be genuinely present. Your child can sense whether you're truly with them or just physically present while mentally elsewhere.

• An open mind and genuine curiosity — Come ready to be surprised by your child's ideas, questions, and directions. Your authentic interest is contagious and models lifelong learning.

How to Do It

1. Create the right atmosphere before you begin. Find a time when your child is naturally alert and rested—not right before a meal or when they're exhausted. Make sure the space feels inviting and safe. You might dim bright overhead lights, put on soft background music, or simply create quiet calm. Your calm energy sets the tone for everything that follows.

2. Sit at your child's physical level. Get down on the floor, kneel beside them, or sit together at a low table. When you're at eye level, your child feels respected and safer to explore. This simple shift communicates "I'm here for you" in a way that standing above them never can.

3. Ask open-ended questions and truly listen. Start with "What would you like to do today?" or "What do you notice?" and then resist the urge to steer or correct. If your four-year-old says she wants to stack blocks into a tower that looks more like a leaning structure, don't suggest the "better" way. Your job is to follow her vision.

4. Respond with genuine wonder and follow-up questions. When your child does something—colors a picture, builds with blocks, arranges objects—notice it aloud. Try "I see you're using lots of purple! Tell me about what you're making" instead of "That's beautiful!" (which, while well-intentioned, actually centers your judgment rather than their process).

5. Offer materials without directing their use. Say "Here are some crayons and paper" rather than "Let's draw a flower." Your child's imagination is far more interesting than any instruction you could give. A piece of paper might become a boat, a tent for action figures, confetti, or something entirely new.

6. Embrace pauses and silence. Some of the deepest thinking happens when children stare at nothing for a minute. Resist filling quiet moments. Your child is processing, imagining, and consolidating learning during these pauses. Sit with them in the silence.

7. Let play extend as long as interest holds. If your child is deeply engaged after 20 minutes and wants to continue, keep going. Conversely, if their focus shifts after ten minutes, that's perfectly fine too. Real learning doesn't run on a schedule.

🎓 Skills Your Child Will Develop

Executive Function & Decision-Making — When children direct their own play without adult guidance, they practice making choices, problem-solving on the fly, and adjusting their strategies. This builds the neural pathways for planning and flexible thinking that serve them throughout life.

Language & Communication — Your child hears you use descriptive words, and you'll hear them narrate their own play, ask questions, and explain their thinking. Rich conversation during unhurried time builds vocabulary and communication confidence in ways structured lessons cannot.

Creativity & Imagination — Without instructions or predetermined outcomes, children invent stories, imagine purposes for objects, and combine ideas in novel ways. This creative confidence becomes foundational for problem-solving and innovation.

Emotional Regulation & Secure Attachment — Unstructured time with your full attention reassures your child that they matter, their ideas are valued, and you're a safe presence even when they're uncertain. This security enables them to take learning risks.

Fine & Gross Motor Skills — Whether your child is gripping crayons, stacking blocks, or moving around the space they've created, they're naturally building strength, coordination, and body awareness without the pressure of a structured activity.

Confidence & Intrinsic Motivation — When children pursue their own interests without judgment, they develop deep confidence in their own thinking and an internal drive to learn. They discover they're capable of figuring things out.

Tips & Variations

• For younger explorers (ages 2-3): Offer fewer materials and keep sessions shorter—even 10-15 minutes counts. Your two-year-old might explore one basket of objects for the entire time, and that's exactly right. Their pace is slower, and their focus is just developing.

• For older learners (ages 4-6): Expect more complex narratives and longer engagement. Your five-year-old might build an elaborate block structure and play out a story with action figures for 45 minutes. Trust their capacity for deep play.

• Seasonal twist: Follow Sacramento's beautiful weather. Take your open-ended play outside—spread a blanket in Granite Park, bring a bucket and cups to explore water play, or bring sidewalk chalk to the driveway. Nature provides endless open-ended materials.

• Challenge the urge to teach. When your child asks a question, try turning it back: "What do you think?" or "Let's find out together" instead of immediately providing answers. This honors their natural curiosity.

• Take photos or jot notes. You don't need a structured portfolio, but capturing moments helps you notice patterns in what interests your child. It also gives you stories to share with their preschool teacher.

My Two Cents

After working with Sacramento families for years, I've noticed that parents often apologize for "just playing" with their children, as if it's somehow less valuable than structured lessons or screen time. Here's what Theresa Halvorsen and so many developmental experts agree on: this kind of unhurried, attentive play is the work. You're not wasting time; you're building your child's brain, nurturing their confidence, and strengthening your relationship. The most memorable moments with our kids often happen when we slow down and simply pay attention to what they're noticing. Give it a try this week, and notice what unfolds.