Helpful Tips for Parents

• The sibling relationship is the most important social training ground in a child's life. Managing sibling conflict skillfully — without taking sides — develops conflict resolution skills that persist for decades.

• Model the behavior you want to see. Children learn far more from observation of parents than from any instruction. If you want a patient child, model patience.

• Find parenting support — a group, a therapist, trusted experienced parents. Parenting in isolation is harder and produces worse outcomes than parenting in community.

• Consistency is the most powerful parenting tool. A rule enforced 90% of the time teaches children that the rule applies 90% of the time — full stop.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is gentle parenting, and is it effective?

Gentle parenting emphasizes emotional connection, positive reinforcement, and natural consequences over punishment-based discipline. Research supports many of its core principles — particularly the importance of emotional attunement, positive attention, and consistent limits. However, "gentle parenting" as a philosophy sometimes underemphasizes the importance of structure and consistent limits, which children need as much as warmth. The most evidence-supported approach combines the warmth and attunement of gentle parenting with the clear, consistent limits of authoritative parenting.

What is the most effective discipline approach for preschoolers?

Research consistently supports authoritative parenting — warm, responsive parenting combined with clear, consistently enforced limits — as the most effective approach for preschool behavioral outcomes. Key elements: anticipate problems before they happen (adjust environment to prevent meltdowns), be consistent with limits, acknowledge feelings before redirecting behavior, give choices within non-negotiable limits, and use natural consequences when safe. Avoid punishment-based or permissive extremes — both produce worse long-term behavioral outcomes than the authoritative middle path.

Related reading: See also our positive discipline guide and our screen time guidelines for more ideas on this topic.

🎓 Skills Your Child Will Develop

• 📚 Early Literacy Foundation — Daily shared reading, access to books, and language-rich environments at home are the most powerful predictors of reading success — and parental reading habits shape children's reading identities for life.
• 🎯 Intrinsic Motivation — Parents who follow children's interests, respond to their curiosity, and avoid over-directing play raise children with strong intrinsic motivation — the engine that sustains learning without external rewards.
• 💪 Resilience & Grit — Children whose parents normalize struggle, celebrate effort over outcome, and model recovery from failure develop the resilience and perseverance that predict success in school, relationships, and professional life.
• 🧠 Self-Regulation Skills — Children whose parents respond to big emotions with empathy and calm guidance learn to regulate their own emotional responses — one of the most important predictors of school success and long-term wellbeing.

The Makings of a Preschool Parent

You're a good parent. You love your children unconditionally and provide them with everything you possibly can. Parents of preschoolers obviously face different challenges than do parents of newborns or pre-teens. In order to meet age-specific requirements, parents need to constantly modify their methods of parenting over the years, with the basis of love remaining constant.

Take Care of Yourself

Parenting preschool children takes an enormous amount of energy. It's a much more physical job than many of us realize until we're panting after a highly excited three year old. By taking the time you need to keep yourself in shape, to eat right and get as much sleep as possible, you'll actually be a more involved and patient parent - climbing the play structure to rescue your brave little man (instead of shouting instructions); running after the beach ball when the wind takes it (instead of letting it go); getting dirty in the garden with your budding farmer (instead of letting her dig up your flowerbed, while you catch forty winks in the hammock).

Be Consistent

Preschoolers do best with routines and schedules. Because preschoolers are in a state of constant flux with rapid rates of growth, development and skill acquisitions, they need the balance of calming and habitual sequences.

There's a wonderful real-life example of how very routine-loving preschoolers can be. On her blog Mommapalooza , Laura writes that her daughter isn't napping anymore.

"You see," she explains, "my Madeline used to watch the last 10-15 minutes of [a TV show called] 'George Shrinks' after she finished her lunch every weekday, while I cleaned up the dishes. As soon as the end credits began to roll to the backdrop of the jaunty 'George Shrinks' theme song, she'd jump up, turn off the TV, and announce "Naptime!" And, yes, she really would take a nap."

Once the show was taken off the air, continues Laura, Madeline wasn't ready for her usual 12:30 nap. Instead, her mom says Madeline "was quite insistent that we wait for George to come on."

Enjoy Your Child

Father of two, Scott Dalton, who spent eighteen months deployed away from his kids, says it's important to: "Laugh. Smile. Play. Tickle. Love. Even when you don't feel like it." The importance of spontaneous displays of affection and periods of time willingly spent actively engaged with your child is sometimes sidelined, especially with stay-at-home parents. Being physically present (i.e., washing the dishes) is not the same as being with your toddler on the floor, building and toppling towers of blocks together.

As Scott reminds us, "the old clich about only being young once applies to your kids, too."

HOME | SITEMAP | ADVERTISE | CONTACT | REPRINTS | PRIVACY POLICY | TERMS OF USE

Preschool Parenting is Copyright 2006 - Stephanie Olsen

PreschoolRock.com is Copyright 2006 - Stacey Lloyd - All Rights Reserved.