Helpful Tips for Parents

• Screen time management is simpler than it appears: establish the rule before the child asks, make it non-negotiable, and hold firm consistently. The first three weeks are the hardest.

• The goal of discipline is not compliance but self-discipline — teaching children to regulate their own behavior internally, without adult enforcement. Every interaction either builds or erodes this capacity.

• Children need connection before they can accept correction. A child who feels genuinely heard and loved is far more receptive to limits than one who feels disconnected.

• Praise the effort, not the outcome: "You worked so hard on that" rather than "You're so smart." Effort praise builds resilience; outcome praise builds fragility.

• Parent self-care is not optional — it's functional. A parent who is rested, supported, and regulated manages child behavior more effectively than an exhausted one. Put on your own oxygen mask first.

Frequently Asked Questions

My preschooler seems very anxious. Is this normal?

Moderate anxiety is developmentally normal in preschoolers — fear of the dark, separation anxiety, and fear of new situations are typical from ages 2–6 and generally decrease with development. Signs that anxiety warrants professional attention: pervasive anxiety across many situations, severe separation anxiety that doesn't improve after weeks at a new school, physical symptoms (stomachaches, headaches before anxiety-provoking situations), or anxiety that prevents participation in normal activities. A child therapist specializing in early childhood can assess whether a preschooler's anxiety is within the range of normal development.

How do I handle a preschooler who lies?

Preschooler lying is developmentally normal from approximately age 3, when children develop the cognitive capacity for intentional deception (Theory of Mind). It's actually a sign of healthy development. Respond to lies without excessive drama: "I think that might not be exactly what happened. It's important to tell the truth. Let's talk about what actually happened." Avoid setting up no-win confession situations ("Did you eat the cookie?" when you know the answer). Model truth-telling — children who see parents tell convenient lies will lie.

Related reading: See also our raising confident preschoolers and our managing tantrums guide for more ideas on this topic.

🎓 Skills Your Child Will Develop

• 🎯 Intrinsic Motivation — Parents who follow children's interests, respond to their curiosity, and avoid over-directing play raise children with strong intrinsic motivation — the engine that sustains learning without external rewards.
• 💪 Resilience & Grit — Children whose parents normalize struggle, celebrate effort over outcome, and model recovery from failure develop the resilience and perseverance that predict success in school, relationships, and professional life.
• 🧠 Self-Regulation Skills — Children whose parents respond to big emotions with empathy and calm guidance learn to regulate their own emotional responses — one of the most important predictors of school success and long-term wellbeing.
• 🤝 Social-Emotional Development — Secure parent-child attachment provides the emotional safe base from which children confidently explore the world, form friendships, and develop the social competence that every other developmental milestone builds on.

By Maria Connor

Preschoolers, especially 4- and 5-year-olds, have active imaginations yet often can't discern between what is real and what is pretend. Your child's bedtime fears may be generated by a genuine belief that something is under his bed or in his closet. If bedtime has become a battle because your preschooler is afraid of the dark (or what's in it), there are some Dos and Don'ts that can ease his nighttime fears.

Preschool Bedtime Dos

DO acknowledge your preschooler's fears. Ask what he is afraid of, then reassure him that you are nearby and will keep him safe.

DO leave a night-light on.

DO let your preschooler listen to quiet music or story tapes as he falls asleep.

Preschool Bedtime Don'ts

DON'T argue or belittle your preschooler for his fears.

DON'T allow nighttime fears to go unchecked. If they begin to interfere with normal sleep or routines, talk to your pediatrician.

DON'T force your preschooler to remain in the dark.

More Preschool Bedtime Tips

Here are a few more tried and true bedtime tricks:

• Give your preschooler a small flashlight to sleep with.

• If your preschooler is very frightened, arrange a sleeping bag for him on your bedroom floor. But be careful that this does not become a habit.

• Monitor the content of movies and TV shows that may too scary for preschoolers.

• Fill a spray bottle with water and label it "Go Away Spray." Spritz under the bed, in the closet or behind the dresser to keep the bogeyman at bay.

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Questions to Ask Your Child

Use these open-ended prompts to extend the learning during or after the activity:

• "What part of this works best for your family's schedule?"
• "Have you tried a version of this before — what happened?"
• "What would you adjust to fit your child's specific personality?"
• "Which tip feels most doable to try this week?"
• "What has worked for other families you know?"
• "What's the one change that would make the biggest difference?"

There are no right or wrong answers to any of these questions. The goal is to keep the conversation going, model curious thinking, and give your child practice putting their experience into words.